Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
