But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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