just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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