Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
