You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Less talking, more tequila
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Randomize
