cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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