The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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