I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
