doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
