So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
