I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
