i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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