Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
