No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
