Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
It's just like the Real World with babies
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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