Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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