so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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