Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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