ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
