ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
