I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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