that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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