I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
