remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
