Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
