Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
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