Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
