I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
