is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
How does one acquire holy water?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
