Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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