I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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