I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
