dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
How does it feel to date your dad?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
