I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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