Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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