is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
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