im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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