Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
