I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
