just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
