We're like a lot better than the average bears
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
