I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
