his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
