i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Randomize
