Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
