i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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