Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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