So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
