Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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