I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
This show inspires me to have sex in space
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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