I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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